i guess the urge is getting to me

OK I know my last dear diary post was amazingly boring but it's not my fault it's what I had done for the day i had recently woken up hehe lost n movie were really good as was the popcorn mum made to go with, yay:p but then i got annoying pickle lips(wen ur lips go funny n crinkly from too much salt) yucky ooh n i saw this freaky diyana karazoan interview DUDE!she is sooooo skinny now!I'm jealous life is so unfair n then i took my shower n now my hair is still wet n all bunched up at the top itz been doing that since i died it this time maybe itz coz i died it too many timez after each other n itz still not really as light as i want it but i love my hair too much to bleach it all n hav it go frizzy on me (although ive already kinda ruined itz texture) :( but anywayz obviously u can c im very obsessed with my hair i think of it as one of my best features but i also like the mole on my left cheek (on my face) hehe lol i think im kinda stuck up sometimez n then i remember all the stuck up ppl i know im not like that at all i just have to keep on reassuring myself i look good enough wat can i say i hav issues :p im gonna stay online all night now lol well atleast for a couple of hours until every1 on my messenger goes offline n then i'll crash n sleep till mid afternoon soundz like fun huh?well it isnt coz u wake up with crazy bed head n a funny taste in your mouth n every1 else has accomplished so much with wat u missed of the day n hav probably engaged in many activities u would hav enjoyed (sorry if that soundz dirty it isnt meant to) n didnt think to wake u n then ur depressed n groggy for the rest of the day n then the cycle continues ..... im going to talk to some frndz or just random ppl i dont know now on my messenger n i'll write again wen i hav the urge (again not dirty)lol
sara is signing off hehe

Dear Diary lol

im bored n hav been online for a while n hav finished the first 4 lost episodes of season 3 n am kinda depressed that i only hav the next two butz itz all good thnx for them ruzi they r crazy uni was cool yesterday im finally getting into psychology n my classes r interesting itz fun yay i bought most of my bookz i love new bookz :p i still hav two to buy on sunday hopefully n im going to the DVD store to buy at least 5 DVDz coz im gonna be bored on monday coz i dont hav uni yay im really getting into using the net so much again n mum is really gonna kill me but itz worth it i love blogging hehe i miss all my frndz in saudi n the onez i dont call enough here but they dont call me either so there.
n i miss dad n ruzi,i loved it wen she stayed the night on thursday n i wish dad would let go of the modi tawjihi thing i think he done gr8 my little brainiac brother im gonna get off now n take a shower n then watch the last two lostz n the pursuit of happiness n monk n then i dunno.
i'll right again wen i hav the urge
;p sosi

lies

is lying really wrong?if it doesnt really hurt any1 but u?im tired now but im posting my thoughtz as random as they might be on this tomorrow this is just so i remember
night night to me
:)
jfgjfgjfgkfjgljflgjfkgjfgkfgkflgkfg
(fell asleep on keyboard)

being watched?!!not real.........

a break from my stuff i love list have u ever thought we might all be some weird experiment like some1 wanted to c wat would happen if they put lotz of ppl on this planet n c wat happenz?
or maybe on smaller scale like that jim carrey movie like u might be a reality show every1z watching or that we r really living in like the matrix n nothing is real
how would we ever know?
like wen hurley is gonna jump off the cliff in lost season 2
i dont get how he decides the world he is living is real
kind of a leap of faith
r we real?
i wonder............................
P.S.
yes modkinz every1 lovez a conspiracy
n me more than any1

2 sisterz n a brother

ooh i really do feel sorry for ppl who r only children no amount of clothes sharing wen ur little or even now makez it any less sweet itz just that u hav a weird understanding of each other that no1 else in the world can share with u u hav the same parentz, same upbringing a lot of shared experiences n yup even some passed down clothes but i wouldnt change anything about them for the world n all itz riches coz they r a part of my soul i will not part with n they r the better versionz of me
so far the most thing on the list i love
but food comez really close
lol

food

im very picky with my food n one kind of food cant touch other food on my plate or i cant eat it but other than that n the fact that nearly anything arabic in the food line i will not eat I LOVE FOOD!chipz, cake, fizzies, anything with lotz of flavour coz i think over time i have numbed my taste buds ooh n choccies yayyyyy!!!!!!!!n mashed potatoes n steak n gravy n mumz homemade pizzaz, if they went commercial ....pizza hut look out mmmmhhhhhmmmmmmmm ooh n marshmellows n cocoa n anything that isnt too good for me hehe
eat to live.......yeah right, i think not
more like live to eat!

frndz

i love all my frndz wether we r still frndz or not so much anymore or if ur livng a gazillion miles away wether ur annoying n dont answer questionz like i want u 2 like the how do i look question no1 wantz to know the truth if they look like crap am i the only person on earth that getz that or even if u r critical n constantly tell me how fat i look in one pair of jeanz after the other i still love u wether u go to the exam of the class we take together n dont tell me there is one or get a make up exam n tell me after so i hav to fend for myself or u make fun of the way i say things i can call ppl watever i want so wat if i like weird nicknames n even if ur one of those frndz whose embarrasing in public i still love u ;) mwa a shout out to all my girliez

iconz

i love iconz !!

not me to blame

okz so wen i wrote the poems i was kinda in a weird mood n listening to linkin park so if they sound crazy itz cool :P

suicide

u ever wonder
y sum1 would take their own life
can a world be that hopeless?
or r we just so blinded by the misery
the way every1 else laughs so candidly
the heartache
the ecstacy
of grief
too brightly dark to c
did sum1 die?
r u hurting?
so many things
that can go wrong
maybe life didnt turn out how u planned
ppl leave u behind
suicide
the only answer?
or r u too much of a coward to face ur world head on?
to deny the hopelessness
to c hopes brightness
shining through the bitter pplz faces
into ur saviour
YOU!

im the music

do i move it?
does it move me?
the beat has a life of its own
writhing like dying snakes
morbid i know
but it would be nice to go
to a place where i could be the rhythm
my heart the drums
my soul the guitar
my mind the song
living music
with a life of my own

Stop n stare

<----- u dont even have to wear the T-shirt in amman coz ppl stare anyway, not politely look, nope blatantly STARE, like u have a weird face rash or sumthing it can get on ur nerves after a while , wen u r tired of running to the nearest bathroom to check n c if a weird growth is suddenly forming on ur nose, nope nose is fine , then y r they staring?well when u stop n watch ppl, every1 stares at every1 else, i guess itz just that every1 is insecure about themselves so they feel they have to pick ppl they r intimadated by to pieces , oh look at her outfit!wat was she thinking?or wow could she have any more makeup on?n u get to the point after living here for five years that u go with the flow n do the same but itz nothing personel im just trying to fit in, is every1 else trying to too??i wonder..........

lefties

i dont like statistics as a subject that i have to take 100 levels of but also as just statistics like on average a left handed person's life is 9 years shorter than a right handed person isnt that kinda unfair? especially as im a lefty !! but we r also supposedly more creative n brainy coz we use more of our brains :) yay but still that doesnt make up for 9 years!!!i mean how do u get all that creativity out if ur dying young, i wonder.....

Weirdness

i am constantly bored n im just wondering if that means im a boring person i hope not ive alwayz strived to be interesting in wayz the person across from me would appreciate, im very accomadating that way maybe too much so anywayz im just contemplating wat makes ppl interesting?is it when they are something u wanna be or have done things u wanna do or have done is it things u have in common or things that r different or both?itz weird the way i think of these things but i wonder.......

War Angel

War Angel

His home it burns to the ground
He doesn’t make a sound
His silent tears they fall
While others have it all

His lips they move to speak
As he has found his peak
Atop a mountain high
As his screams rip the sky

His dreams they r now gone
Shattered by an enemy gun
They r no longer they shall never be
Now his only dream is for his land to be free

He cries tears of blood, hate, pain
He has nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
He lets his emotions reign

He watches everything around him collapse
As he tries in vain to fill in the gaps

Today he stands up tall
He has no1 to leave behind him
He has nothing at all
His only possession is himself
He gives it back to his lord above
That and nothing else

And as he stands in a crowded market street
Not even aware of his fast moving feet
He ends it all
All the signs of life around
And as his bloody parts they hit the ground
It is obvious and all do see
That he is now a war angel
FLYING FREE

By Sara Shaker

Philosophising

Ever have the feeling that we r all too the the same for our own good?as people?i think thats y most of the time we r trying to find how we can be different i find that really interesting coz itz like we r on a lifelong quest to deny everything that we know we r, to prove it wrong