2/23/2007

a list :) not sorted by any priority just how they come to me

things that r wrong with our world today:
1-ppl forgetting who they r on purpose to better fit into the crowd
2- war that isnt holy
3-ppl who live their lives wanting to be some1 else n forget those moments of clarity wen u actually know wat u wanna do with the rest of ur life or childhood dreams
4-ppl with no political viewz
5-ppl who hav no purpose in their livez
6-ppl who r hiding from themselves coz they r too afraid to know who they really r coz they think it might be sum1 other ppl wont like
7-ppl who would reject an idea or person just coz it isnt wat they r used to, itz not the norm, fallz outside the comfort zone
8-ppl who dont like LOST lol just kidding i felt myself getting too serious so i thought id lighten it up
9-ppl who r too obsessed with things that r of no real long term value (monitary or otherwise)
10-ppl who r too obsessed with having too much money at any cost
these r my first ten n i'll write them in shiftz lol ten at a time otherwise i'll get bored of my own thoughtz hehe

thinking quotes


An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind.


During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing
can be taught.
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon
If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't.

Mad, adjective: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Madness is the channel by which we receive the greatest blessings.

2/18/2007

Warning Signs of Insanity...

You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom. You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write. You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits. You’re always having to apologize to your next door neighbour for setting fire to his lawn decorations. Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death. People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl. Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day. Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can’t understand you through that scuba mask. You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you’ve stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster. Your father pretends you don’t exist, just to play along with your little illusion. You collect dead windowsill flies. Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!" You like cats. Especially with mayo. You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan’s Island because they weren’t rescued. You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they’ll hatch. You have a predominant fear of fabric softener. Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it’s for security reasons. When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him because "the napkins have ears." You tend to agree with everything your mother’s dead uncle tells you. You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease. You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you’re a stalk. You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough) People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry. You keep thinking this is the year for the Cubs. You despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only Hindi. You see migrating flocks of ducks in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps you from joining them. The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you. You like reading lists like this.

Life, is and isn't

Life...
Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed, It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have Or what kind of car you drive.Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,Or what kind of music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown,Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get how smart you are, how smart everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you."
Life just isn't.

Life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposely.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or as a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It's about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.And who your judgments are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow and spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life's all about.

If I Had My Life To Live Over

I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my partner.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later, now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love yous".. more "I'm sorrys"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back.
by Erma Bombeck

18 Ways To Reduce Stress

1. Go to bed early and get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
2. Allow extra time to get where you are going.
3. Laugh. Then laugh some more!
4. Less is more. Even though one is not enough, two is often too many.
5. Live within your budget. Don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
6. Slow down.
7. Have backups: an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
8. Write thoughts and inspirations down.
9. Keep your mouth shut.
10. Take your work seriously, but yourself not at all.
11. Develop a forgiving attitude. Most people are doing the best they can.
12. Delegate tasks to capable others.
13. Say no to projects that won't fit into your schedule or will compromise your mental health.
14. Do something for the kid in you every day.
15. Find time to be alone.
16. Be kind to unkind people. They probably need it the most.
17. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
18. Pray.

70 natural highs

Think about how each one feels then move onto the next one:
1) Stepping into a hot bath after being out in the rain
2) Listening to heavy rain in bed at night
3)Over-hearing someone say something nice about you
4) To love and be loved in return
5)Riding down an empty road with all the windows down/top down with the wind blowing in ur hair (Or trying to blow off ur scarf lal m7ajjabaat lol)
6) Turning on the radio just in time to hear your favourite song
7) Credit for acheivements
8) Applause
9) The smell of freshly baked bread
10) Singing along to your favourite song at the top of your voice
11)making a childhood dream come true
12) Learning something new
13) Being able to do something you have never been able to do before
14) Freshly cut grass
15) Sitting in complete silence with a best friend then walking away thinking it's the best conversation you've ever had
16) Laughing with friends
17) Hysterical laughing (laughing where you start for no reason then cant stop)
18) Being held by someone your truly love
19) Holding some1 your truly love
20) A really good conversation
21) Ramadan
22) Staying up all night just to watch the sunrise
23) Sunset
24) A smile from a stranger
25) Making the first footprints in a feild of freshly fallen snow
26) Helping someone
27) Making soemone feel special
28) Feeling special
29) Waking up thinking its a school/work day then realising it's the weekend and you can have a couple of hours more sleep
30) Waking up after daylight savings and realising you have an hour's more sleep
31) Finding a song you really enjoy listening to
32) Bumping into old friends and realising something, good and bad, never change...
33) realising your friends are there for you
34) Candy floss
35) Reminising over old times with friends, lovers or just alone
36) Finding money on the floor
37) Doing a selfless act
38) Holidays
39) Family
40) Staying up all night and watching old movies
41) Working really hard on something then getting a better mark than you expected
42) Finding an item of clothing you really like then finding out it's half price (never happenz but i can still dream)
43)Finding the solution to a reoccuring problem
44) A good nights sleep
45) Dancing all night
46) A good walk
47) Finding out you fit into that dress which you couldnt fit into 2 months before
48) Eating chocolate when you really needed it
49) Recieving a text message
50) Recieving a letter (which isn't a bill, junk mail, ect..)
51) Having a crush on someone
52) Passing that test you thought you could never pass
53) Recieving a sincere compliment from someone who usually never compliments you
54) Eating ice cream
55) Someone playing with your hair
56) Accepting that somethings can't be changed
57) Winning an arm-wrestle against someone you usually lose against
58) Fixing something noone else could fix
59) Making something all on your own with your two own hands
60) Going to a concert
61) Recieving an email
62) recieving an email that isnt a crappy forward that makes no sense
63)finding the spelling mistakes of ppl who usually correct ur spelling
64) Being genuinly happy
65)Recieving a kiss from that special someone
66) Reading a good book then getting a good twist at the end
67) Watching a romance movie then crying at the end
68) Chanting along to "We will rock you" with a massive crowd
69) Realising you were actually right all along
70) Gaining a friend

britney iz BALD



OMG!britney has really snapped this time or maybe she is just trying to give other ppl a chance to shine lol although her scalp might still be kinda shiny hehe my sis is worried about the trauma to her kidz but with brit as a mum how could u not be traumatized let alone a bald brit DUDE even from a psychological point of view im stumped as to explaining it i guess itz a mix of too much booze n drugz n not enough clothez finally getting to her.

2/17/2007

i guess the urge is getting to me

OK I know my last dear diary post was amazingly boring but it's not my fault it's what I had done for the day i had recently woken up hehe lost n movie were really good as was the popcorn mum made to go with, yay:p but then i got annoying pickle lips(wen ur lips go funny n crinkly from too much salt) yucky ooh n i saw this freaky diyana karazoan interview DUDE!she is sooooo skinny now!I'm jealous life is so unfair n then i took my shower n now my hair is still wet n all bunched up at the top itz been doing that since i died it this time maybe itz coz i died it too many timez after each other n itz still not really as light as i want it but i love my hair too much to bleach it all n hav it go frizzy on me (although ive already kinda ruined itz texture) :( but anywayz obviously u can c im very obsessed with my hair i think of it as one of my best features but i also like the mole on my left cheek (on my face) hehe lol i think im kinda stuck up sometimez n then i remember all the stuck up ppl i know im not like that at all i just have to keep on reassuring myself i look good enough wat can i say i hav issues :p im gonna stay online all night now lol well atleast for a couple of hours until every1 on my messenger goes offline n then i'll crash n sleep till mid afternoon soundz like fun huh?well it isnt coz u wake up with crazy bed head n a funny taste in your mouth n every1 else has accomplished so much with wat u missed of the day n hav probably engaged in many activities u would hav enjoyed (sorry if that soundz dirty it isnt meant to) n didnt think to wake u n then ur depressed n groggy for the rest of the day n then the cycle continues ..... im going to talk to some frndz or just random ppl i dont know now on my messenger n i'll write again wen i hav the urge (again not dirty)lol
sara is signing off hehe

2/16/2007

Dear Diary lol

im bored n hav been online for a while n hav finished the first 4 lost episodes of season 3 n am kinda depressed that i only hav the next two butz itz all good thnx for them ruzi they r crazy uni was cool yesterday im finally getting into psychology n my classes r interesting itz fun yay i bought most of my bookz i love new bookz :p i still hav two to buy on sunday hopefully n im going to the DVD store to buy at least 5 DVDz coz im gonna be bored on monday coz i dont hav uni yay im really getting into using the net so much again n mum is really gonna kill me but itz worth it i love blogging hehe i miss all my frndz in saudi n the onez i dont call enough here but they dont call me either so there.
n i miss dad n ruzi,i loved it wen she stayed the night on thursday n i wish dad would let go of the modi tawjihi thing i think he done gr8 my little brainiac brother im gonna get off now n take a shower n then watch the last two lostz n the pursuit of happiness n monk n then i dunno.
i'll right again wen i hav the urge
;p sosi

2/14/2007

lies

is lying really wrong?if it doesnt really hurt any1 but u?im tired now but im posting my thoughtz as random as they might be on this tomorrow this is just so i remember
night night to me
:)
jfgjfgjfgkfjgljflgjfkgjfgkfgkflgkfg
(fell asleep on keyboard)

being watched?!!not real.........

a break from my stuff i love list have u ever thought we might all be some weird experiment like some1 wanted to c wat would happen if they put lotz of ppl on this planet n c wat happenz?
or maybe on smaller scale like that jim carrey movie like u might be a reality show every1z watching or that we r really living in like the matrix n nothing is real
how would we ever know?
like wen hurley is gonna jump off the cliff in lost season 2
i dont get how he decides the world he is living is real
kind of a leap of faith
r we real?
i wonder............................
P.S.
yes modkinz every1 lovez a conspiracy
n me more than any1

2 sisterz n a brother

ooh i really do feel sorry for ppl who r only children no amount of clothes sharing wen ur little or even now makez it any less sweet itz just that u hav a weird understanding of each other that no1 else in the world can share with u u hav the same parentz, same upbringing a lot of shared experiences n yup even some passed down clothes but i wouldnt change anything about them for the world n all itz riches coz they r a part of my soul i will not part with n they r the better versionz of me
so far the most thing on the list i love
but food comez really close
lol

food

im very picky with my food n one kind of food cant touch other food on my plate or i cant eat it but other than that n the fact that nearly anything arabic in the food line i will not eat I LOVE FOOD!chipz, cake, fizzies, anything with lotz of flavour coz i think over time i have numbed my taste buds ooh n choccies yayyyyy!!!!!!!!n mashed potatoes n steak n gravy n mumz homemade pizzaz, if they went commercial ....pizza hut look out mmmmhhhhhmmmmmmmm ooh n marshmellows n cocoa n anything that isnt too good for me hehe
eat to live.......yeah right, i think not
more like live to eat!

frndz

i love all my frndz wether we r still frndz or not so much anymore or if ur livng a gazillion miles away wether ur annoying n dont answer questionz like i want u 2 like the how do i look question no1 wantz to know the truth if they look like crap am i the only person on earth that getz that or even if u r critical n constantly tell me how fat i look in one pair of jeanz after the other i still love u wether u go to the exam of the class we take together n dont tell me there is one or get a make up exam n tell me after so i hav to fend for myself or u make fun of the way i say things i can call ppl watever i want so wat if i like weird nicknames n even if ur one of those frndz whose embarrasing in public i still love u ;) mwa a shout out to all my girliez

iconz











i love iconz !!

not me to blame

okz so wen i wrote the poems i was kinda in a weird mood n listening to linkin park so if they sound crazy itz cool :P

2/12/2007

suicide

u ever wonder
y sum1 would take their own life
can a world be that hopeless?
or r we just so blinded by the misery
the way every1 else laughs so candidly
the heartache
the ecstacy
of grief
too brightly dark to c
did sum1 die?
r u hurting?
so many things
that can go wrong
maybe life didnt turn out how u planned
ppl leave u behind
suicide
the only answer?
or r u too much of a coward to face ur world head on?
to deny the hopelessness
to c hopes brightness
shining through the bitter pplz faces
into ur saviour
YOU!

im the music

do i move it?
does it move me?
the beat has a life of its own
writhing like dying snakes
morbid i know
but it would be nice to go
to a place where i could be the rhythm
my heart the drums
my soul the guitar
my mind the song
living music
with a life of my own

Stop n stare


<----- u dont even have to wear the T-shirt in amman coz ppl stare anyway, not politely look, nope blatantly STARE, like u have a weird face rash or sumthing it can get on ur nerves after a while , wen u r tired of running to the nearest bathroom to check n c if a weird growth is suddenly forming on ur nose, nope nose is fine , then y r they staring?well when u stop n watch ppl, every1 stares at every1 else, i guess itz just that every1 is insecure about themselves so they feel they have to pick ppl they r intimadated by to pieces , oh look at her outfit!wat was she thinking?or wow could she have any more makeup on?n u get to the point after living here for five years that u go with the flow n do the same but itz nothing personel im just trying to fit in, is every1 else trying to too??i wonder..........

lefties


i dont like statistics as a subject that i have to take 100 levels of but also as just statistics like on average a left handed person's life is 9 years shorter than a right handed person isnt that kinda unfair? especially as im a lefty !! but we r also supposedly more creative n brainy coz we use more of our brains :) yay but still that doesnt make up for 9 years!!!i mean how do u get all that creativity out if ur dying young, i wonder.....

Weirdness


i am constantly bored n im just wondering if that means im a boring person i hope not ive alwayz strived to be interesting in wayz the person across from me would appreciate, im very accomadating that way maybe too much so anywayz im just contemplating wat makes ppl interesting?is it when they are something u wanna be or have done things u wanna do or have done is it things u have in common or things that r different or both?itz weird the way i think of these things but i wonder.......

War Angel


War Angel

His home it burns to the ground
He doesn’t make a sound
His silent tears they fall
While others have it all

His lips they move to speak
As he has found his peak
Atop a mountain high
As his screams rip the sky

His dreams they r now gone
Shattered by an enemy gun
They r no longer they shall never be
Now his only dream is for his land to be free

He cries tears of blood, hate, pain
He has nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
He lets his emotions reign

He watches everything around him collapse
As he tries in vain to fill in the gaps

Today he stands up tall
He has no1 to leave behind him
He has nothing at all
His only possession is himself
He gives it back to his lord above
That and nothing else

And as he stands in a crowded market street
Not even aware of his fast moving feet
He ends it all
All the signs of life around
And as his bloody parts they hit the ground
It is obvious and all do see
That he is now a war angel
FLYING FREE

By Sara Shaker

Philosophising




Ever have the feeling that we r all too the the same for our own good?as people?i think thats y most of the time we r trying to find how we can be different i find that really interesting coz itz like we r on a lifelong quest to deny everything that we know we r, to prove it wrong